Spring cleaning conjures up thoughts of deep cleaning nearly every room in my home to refresh, declutter and regain a sense of order, calmness and new energy.
After divorce, just about everything in your world can feel different. If you are recently divorced, this year’s spring cleaning season is a great opportunity to start to take some stock in your home and personal life as you start to move it forward. Cleaning and creating order is very therapeutic and can help put you on a path towards healing from this very traumatic, life changing event.
Home Cleaning Tips For After a Divorce
Give a spring clean to those spaces that give you a negative vibe - starting with your bedroom. Your bedroom is your sanctuary and retreat. With the divorce, your bedroom may not feel like yours anymore and is associated with lots of negative energy. While a complete renovation sounds lovely, it might not be practical. But you can easily give it a refresh this spring with new elements like a new set of bed sheets, comforter, pillows, throws, and a fresh coat of paint. The change in color and feel will make a huge difference to the start and end of your day and keep your sanctuary secure and special.
Declutter some of those memories of your former marriage.
Prioritize spaces by tackling those that are least stressful, emotional and sentimental. This way you ease yourself into the process.
Create three sorting piles and label them keep, purge and not sure.
Box up the “not sure” stuff and put it in a closet, basement or attic for another day. There is no pressure to deal with it immediately. Go through it again when ready.
With the “purge” pile, decide if you want to donate or sell the items. If you don’t have the time or energy to sell online or have a garage sale, just donate.
Go at your own pace and celebrate the small accomplishments. One room at a time, you will create the space that makes you feel happy and safe.
Smudge your house to invite positive energy.
After a divorce, you likely don’t feel like yourself. Healing takes a while and can leave your head, heart and soul needing some spring cleansing. Smudging is a way to energetically cleanse a space to invite positive energy. When smudging a space, you burn plant material. The smoke fills and purifies the environment. I love burning sage. I light my sage and walk all over the inside and outside of my home and car. If my daughter is home, I’ll walk around her and ask her to do the same for me. It really shifts my energy and mindset – a true spring cleaning!
Navigating Friendships After Divorce
Navigating friendships during and after a divorce is no easy task because many will shift after a divorce, especially those made when you were married. Some become closer, while others fade away. Lots of times we leave relationships with the friendships we brought to it, and the ones we made during the marriage don’t always last beyond the marriage. This spring consider a little friendship clean up by:
Nurturing the friends who you trust and can lean on. You will quickly learn which friends will listen to your highs and lows, help you out with kids and carpools, holidays, and everything in between, all without judgment. Take time to recognize the value of these friendships and express gratitude for their support.
Reconnecting with friends from the past. Get in touch with a friend(s) whose friendships formed before or during your marriage but have dropped off a bit over time. People will often surprise you by welcoming you back into their lives and are often happy to pick up from where your friendship left off.
Giving yourself grace when some friendships do end. There are numerous reasons why some friendships fade during the course of a person’s divorce. From not wanting a divorced person in a social circle, to not knowing how to respond or help, or even siding with one spouse over another. Whatever the reason, be gentle on yourself and let it go. Close the door, get rid of the negative energy, and give yourself the freedom to move on remembering your true friends are with you through the good, the bad, and everything in between.
Managing Finances After Divorce
Need to reassess your financial situation after your divorce? Make it part of your spring cleaning. Get started by:
Gathering your financial documents together (either electronically or in hard copy) and store them securely in one place.
Attaining a copy of your credit score and disputing any discrepancies. Your credit will be critical for securing a future loan, so tidy up your credit score.
Getting a bank account and a credit card in your own name if you don’t have one.
Keeping an eye on any statements from joint credit cards you have with your ex. Keeping records is important so you can quickly try to settle any discrepancies.
Read my recent blog post, 5 Tips For Establishing a Budget After Your Divorce to learn more about getting your personal budgeting and financial planning started this spring.
Just by clearing away the clutter, whether it's designing your living space, evaluating friendships or taking stock in your finances, you are taking important steps in processing your post divorce life. And you are moving yourself forward into your next chapter. Not sure where to begin or how to get it all done, reach out to Post Divorce Force, and let us help you get there.